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I feel like my life is falling apart. I have cut my slef, bit my… - Tye [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Jun. 3rd, 2005|05:12 pm]
[Current Mood |worried and anxious]
[Current Music |one tin soldier]

I feel like my life is falling apart. I have cut my slef, bit my knuckels and overdosed all in a period of a week. i majorly relapsed. my car is totaled and i am unsure if I am able to graduate because My teacher hasnt gotten in contact with me. weds nght at divas heidi and I were drunk. We had a fight and she pushed me and threw a beer bottle at me. I cant tolarate that. I felt so bad and unworth of being alive that i tried to kill myslef. i to 2g of trazadone. I was unconious for about 3 hours. My parents filed a report with the police and i am wondering what is going to happen with that. i am the one who has to press charges and am not going to. Yeah she did what she did. I didnt get hurt I dont even have a visible bruise from the bottle. But it is not ok to be violent with me. I told her las ttime this kind of thing happened that if it happened again we couldnt be togather, I would get out of the relationship an not look back. Of course i will llok back. i am feeling like I am dying from the idea that I am not going to be with heidi anymore. i hope that she understands. I am having a hard time going thorught with it...i hope that I can. everybodys mad at me, and i cant do anything right, and now is not the time to break up with the love of my life. I love that woman more then I have loved anyone in my life. I am not going to do it tonight. I am going to vist her at the hospital and then the next time I see her I will. Am I doing the right thing? What is the right thing? If I am doing the right thing how come it feels so wrong?